Well hello stranger!! Yes, I know, it's been way too long, but then don't you always find that you have far more interesting conversations with people you haven't seen for a while rather than those you see all the time? There's only so many times you can ask how's your day been before you begin to get bored of the same old reply, so I thought I'd wait until I had something interesting to report. And that thing that is so interesting is this...I'm really starting to panic!
I'm sure this is perfectly normal and that every bride to be experiences some degree of anxiety. It's not that I'm having doubts or considering dusting off the cobwebs on my Nikés and beating a hasty retreat. Believe me, I know a good thing when I see it. It's just that I'm beginning to realise how much work and meticulous planning go into organising the perfect wedding and i'm not convinced I'm cut out for the job.
A good day in my world is one where I remember to brush my teeth before I leave for work. Honestly, there have been times when I've driven half way to the yard and realised the somewhat stale and stuffy air isn't coming from outside but is infact caused by the fur still coating my molars as a result of the curry I scoffed the night before. Dilema, do I turn around and risk being late or do I continue and risk the embarrassing whispers of my colleagues muttering 'halitosis' behind my back? The answer is usually the latter, but I do however always carry extra strong gum. Toothpaste in a tab!!! And before you start thinking that I have complete disregard for dental hygiene this is not something that happens every week, just maybe once a month. It's a terrible infliction!
So how do I calm the nerves and turn my muddled brain into a organised and logical one? How do I take the endless list of 'to-do's' and turn them into 'dones'? How do I take my preverbial head out of the preverbial sand and start checking off that list in earnest? Any of you out there who have been where I am now and have come out the otherside proud and in the knowledge that they pulled off the perfect day then please pass on your secret as I am feeling more than a little overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. In the name of sanity pass forth your wisdom and help this demented bride!!
Friday 9 April 2010
Tuesday 30 March 2010
In Which DB Reaches a Decision
Votes in, numbers counted, decision made. Any late comers will have to go with the judges final decision. On no account will allowances be made. The date for the Hen Do Of The Year is now officially the first weekend in July. Thank God for that.
All that remains is to decide where it's going to take place...and here we go again. That didn't last long did it. Now the emails are going to start all over again and there's bound to be those who don't fancy the ideas I come up with. Too expensive, too difficult to get to, don't like heights, don't like water, don't work with children and animals.......I can feel my nerves beginning to unravel all over again! So I think now is the time to pass the responsibility to the bridesmaids and let them deal with it. After all isn't that how it's traditionally done and I'm all for tradition. I'll be happy with anywhere except Blackpool, Bangor or Barmouth (apologies to anyone from these places, no offence meant). I'm also gonna have to insist on nothing less than 3* and there must be at least one proper bottle of champagne (Sainsbury's own will do after a few!). Strippers are a no no, the very thought makes me cringe, all baby oil, G strings and a face only a mother could love, and I will absolutely not, on any account, go out with a dildo and L Plates tied around my neck. A woman has to maintain a modicum of dignity!
All that remains is to decide where it's going to take place...and here we go again. That didn't last long did it. Now the emails are going to start all over again and there's bound to be those who don't fancy the ideas I come up with. Too expensive, too difficult to get to, don't like heights, don't like water, don't work with children and animals.......I can feel my nerves beginning to unravel all over again! So I think now is the time to pass the responsibility to the bridesmaids and let them deal with it. After all isn't that how it's traditionally done and I'm all for tradition. I'll be happy with anywhere except Blackpool, Bangor or Barmouth (apologies to anyone from these places, no offence meant). I'm also gonna have to insist on nothing less than 3* and there must be at least one proper bottle of champagne (Sainsbury's own will do after a few!). Strippers are a no no, the very thought makes me cringe, all baby oil, G strings and a face only a mother could love, and I will absolutely not, on any account, go out with a dildo and L Plates tied around my neck. A woman has to maintain a modicum of dignity!
Friday 19 March 2010
In Which DB Stresses About her Hen Do, Don't, Do, Don't...
How, pray tell, do you arrange a get together with a large group of really special friends and find a date that everyone can make? If anyone has the answer to this PLEASE let me know!!
For the last few weeks I have been going round and round and left and right and side to side trying to find a weekend that everyone (or at least the majority) can make and so far I keep hitting that proverbial brick wall. AAAARRRRHHH!!! I'm seriously considering having a Hen Don't. Is it really worth all this hassle just so I can go out dressed in some hideously embarrassing outfit, to end up in some cringeworthy situations and drink more than the entire guests at my wedding...well...yes it really is.
It's an age old tradition and a great excuse to get together with all your favourite girlies and have them all to yourself for one night. How often do you get the chance to have all these fantastic people together when even though you try you never do get off your arse and arrange these monthly get togethers you've been promising. Come on, admit it, we all do it.
Of course, the problem is you never can get all these people together, in the same place, on the same night and now I'm left with the dilema of finding a date for the majority to the sacrifice of
the few. But I want them all!!!! So I pleading with you all, any solutions to this hair pulling dilema and this DB will be indebted to you forever...answers on a postcard.
For the last few weeks I have been going round and round and left and right and side to side trying to find a weekend that everyone (or at least the majority) can make and so far I keep hitting that proverbial brick wall. AAAARRRRHHH!!! I'm seriously considering having a Hen Don't. Is it really worth all this hassle just so I can go out dressed in some hideously embarrassing outfit, to end up in some cringeworthy situations and drink more than the entire guests at my wedding...well...yes it really is.
It's an age old tradition and a great excuse to get together with all your favourite girlies and have them all to yourself for one night. How often do you get the chance to have all these fantastic people together when even though you try you never do get off your arse and arrange these monthly get togethers you've been promising. Come on, admit it, we all do it.
Of course, the problem is you never can get all these people together, in the same place, on the same night and now I'm left with the dilema of finding a date for the majority to the sacrifice of
the few. But I want them all!!!! So I pleading with you all, any solutions to this hair pulling dilema and this DB will be indebted to you forever...answers on a postcard.
Saturday 13 March 2010
In Which DB Finds the Answer to Our Hair Prayers…and There Is No L’Oreal In Sight!
Sorry… I just want to say this first and foremost to all the loyal and patient followers that have been encouraging and following me along the way. In all honestly, when written, it seems a feeble and disappointingly ineffective word, especially when typed through the keys of a basic and middle aged keyboard! However, I feel that it is the most direct and honest word I can use to all of you who have supported me with this blog and have been left waiting for updates only to be met with, well…nothing.
What can I say? I can offer a number of reasons… I have been busy, preoccupied, tired, working blah, blah, blah…but enough of the excuses, there are always enough hours in the day if you are dedicated enough. So here I am, blogging all of you that care at 1.30 in the morning and as if that isn’t enough, to show you that I really do appreciate your support, I am about just about to let you in on one of the world’s best kept secrets…Morrocanoil!
Ladies, repeat this word over and over and then over again, as, no matter how many times Cheryl Cole, with her flawless luscious, unachievable, thick and flowing locks, tells you she’s found the answer to your hair prayers, L’Oreal has now been left looking like the new kid in the playground compared to this bad boy.
Gone is my frazzled and over bleached straw like barnet, only to be replaced by enviable silken tresses after only one application (max 5ml) of this wonder oil. I am a convert! Cheap, frizz free serum promising me salon beautiful hair…discarded with one swift and quick sweep of the hand across my once cluttered dressing table crammed with products I rarely used and that never delivered. If I didn’t know and trust my hairdresser to the extent that I do I would have mistaken her faith in this product as nothing more than a ploy to get me to part with my hard earned and ever dwindling cash. At £30 a bottle this is by no means a cheap fix but well worth every penny, and the fact that a little goes a long way means that it should last for a long time meaning that it is actually fantastic value for money.
So there, I hope this invaluable and no longer well kept secret goes a little way to mending bridges and I promise to dust off my laptop and tap away at those keys on a much more regular basis!
Now to the most important part of my blog…wedding plans! As ever, I am as ever more than a little disorganised and have still not got round to informing my local parish of a certain fast approaching nuptials so that they can read our banns. A slightly important part of the whole process I think you’ll agree and I now have given myself a major talking to. By this time Monday it will all have been sorted and the Significant Other and I will be planning our first Sunday service trip to St Mary Magdalene church.
On a more positive note, my dress is coming along beautifully and I have now had a fitting in the actual fabric. It is going to look fantastic even if I do say so myself! I almost can’t wait the four months until I get to wear it, but then patience has never been one of my better qualities!
I have also now ordered my Save the Date cards and eagerly await their arrival. They are beautiful and summery and Vicky has done a tremendous job. I just hope that I have ordered these in time and that people haven’t already booked their holidays away. July is a popular time of year. It may end up being a very small and quaint affair after all, but then every cloud…it won’t cost nearly as much!!!
What can I say? I can offer a number of reasons… I have been busy, preoccupied, tired, working blah, blah, blah…but enough of the excuses, there are always enough hours in the day if you are dedicated enough. So here I am, blogging all of you that care at 1.30 in the morning and as if that isn’t enough, to show you that I really do appreciate your support, I am about just about to let you in on one of the world’s best kept secrets…Morrocanoil!
Ladies, repeat this word over and over and then over again, as, no matter how many times Cheryl Cole, with her flawless luscious, unachievable, thick and flowing locks, tells you she’s found the answer to your hair prayers, L’Oreal has now been left looking like the new kid in the playground compared to this bad boy.
Gone is my frazzled and over bleached straw like barnet, only to be replaced by enviable silken tresses after only one application (max 5ml) of this wonder oil. I am a convert! Cheap, frizz free serum promising me salon beautiful hair…discarded with one swift and quick sweep of the hand across my once cluttered dressing table crammed with products I rarely used and that never delivered. If I didn’t know and trust my hairdresser to the extent that I do I would have mistaken her faith in this product as nothing more than a ploy to get me to part with my hard earned and ever dwindling cash. At £30 a bottle this is by no means a cheap fix but well worth every penny, and the fact that a little goes a long way means that it should last for a long time meaning that it is actually fantastic value for money.
So there, I hope this invaluable and no longer well kept secret goes a little way to mending bridges and I promise to dust off my laptop and tap away at those keys on a much more regular basis!
Now to the most important part of my blog…wedding plans! As ever, I am as ever more than a little disorganised and have still not got round to informing my local parish of a certain fast approaching nuptials so that they can read our banns. A slightly important part of the whole process I think you’ll agree and I now have given myself a major talking to. By this time Monday it will all have been sorted and the Significant Other and I will be planning our first Sunday service trip to St Mary Magdalene church.
On a more positive note, my dress is coming along beautifully and I have now had a fitting in the actual fabric. It is going to look fantastic even if I do say so myself! I almost can’t wait the four months until I get to wear it, but then patience has never been one of my better qualities!
I have also now ordered my Save the Date cards and eagerly await their arrival. They are beautiful and summery and Vicky has done a tremendous job. I just hope that I have ordered these in time and that people haven’t already booked their holidays away. July is a popular time of year. It may end up being a very small and quaint affair after all, but then every cloud…it won’t cost nearly as much!!!
Wednesday 24 February 2010
In Which DB Gets Mercilessly Thrown Around but Still Ends Up Looking Like a Princess
It's been a while since I last blogged but you'll all be pleased to hear that the terrible stomach infliction that rendered me near useless has moved on to some other poor victim and I am back to subjecting my body to all kinds of filth (mainly grape and grain with the odd cocoa bean chucked in for good measure)
Not so good to hear is the news that I have been unmercilessly thrown around from pillar to post like a rag doll. I feel battered and bruised and fear that my aching bones are are going to be as stiff as a ferociously whipped egg white by the morning. I am sat here covered in stick on heat pads that I resemble a patchwork quilt. But worry ye not, The Significant Other has not turned into a testosterone fuelled monster taken to putting his wench in her place. Alas, it is my choice of work companion that is to blame. The four legged friend (or not on this occassion)...the horse!!
I understand that I have no-one else to blame for my choice of career, and that dealing with young thoroughbred racehorses is always going to be teamed with some degree of danger and uncertainty, but to be flung to the ground three times in a row is more than a woman of the ripe old age of thirty...something...can take! To add insult to injury the lady cashier at my bank asked me today if I had life insurance. Does she know something I don't?! Then again, after today's near death experiences, I think she may have a point.
But, less of the melodramatics, as every cloud has a silver lining and all that. Today I tried on the first cotton fitting of my dress and I can see for the first time what I have until this moment carried around in my head as merely a dream until now. To see something so desired brought to life like that is a truly fantastic and emotional feeling. This dress is unique to me. It is designed by me to be worn only be me and will hold a wealth of memories and emotions within its fabric for years to come. I can feel butterflies as I write this and I am not usually one to get so excited by cotton!
So I may have come to my mother's studio battered, defeated and sore from head to toe, but I stood in front of that mirror, back straight, stomach pulled in and beaming from ear to ear. You can buck the princess off but she will always come back fighting to strike a pose!
Not so good to hear is the news that I have been unmercilessly thrown around from pillar to post like a rag doll. I feel battered and bruised and fear that my aching bones are are going to be as stiff as a ferociously whipped egg white by the morning. I am sat here covered in stick on heat pads that I resemble a patchwork quilt. But worry ye not, The Significant Other has not turned into a testosterone fuelled monster taken to putting his wench in her place. Alas, it is my choice of work companion that is to blame. The four legged friend (or not on this occassion)...the horse!!
I understand that I have no-one else to blame for my choice of career, and that dealing with young thoroughbred racehorses is always going to be teamed with some degree of danger and uncertainty, but to be flung to the ground three times in a row is more than a woman of the ripe old age of thirty...something...can take! To add insult to injury the lady cashier at my bank asked me today if I had life insurance. Does she know something I don't?! Then again, after today's near death experiences, I think she may have a point.
But, less of the melodramatics, as every cloud has a silver lining and all that. Today I tried on the first cotton fitting of my dress and I can see for the first time what I have until this moment carried around in my head as merely a dream until now. To see something so desired brought to life like that is a truly fantastic and emotional feeling. This dress is unique to me. It is designed by me to be worn only be me and will hold a wealth of memories and emotions within its fabric for years to come. I can feel butterflies as I write this and I am not usually one to get so excited by cotton!
So I may have come to my mother's studio battered, defeated and sore from head to toe, but I stood in front of that mirror, back straight, stomach pulled in and beaming from ear to ear. You can buck the princess off but she will always come back fighting to strike a pose!
Tuesday 16 February 2010
In Which DB and The Significant Other Are More Than a Little Unromantic
With our wedding fast approaching and spring just around the corner you would probably have expected The Significant Other and I to have been overflowing with love and bestowing gooey romantic gestures on each other this Valentines Day. The actual truth of the matter is that we both quite forgot what day it was until around mid afternoon and by then any little gesture would have felt forced and contrived.
It's not that either of us are uptight, bah humbug, love smug scrooges. We both enjoy a soppy moment and a kiss and cuddle on the sofa as well as the rest. Neither is it that we have both been in remote parts of the world for the last few days, surrounded by pigs, chickens and camels far away from any kind of civilisation. The Significant Other does work away during the week but I'm pretty sure Darlington is only up the motorway.
No, MY excuse for being so forgetful and plain unromantic is that I'd spent the two days previous either hugging the toilet or squatting on it due to a severe case of sickness and diarrohea. I don't remember the last time I felt so ill, except prehaps after a particularly heavy night on the vino, but as I said I don't quite remember... No, this particular bout was so bad I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. In fact, I firmly believe it could be the ultimate weapon in the fight against war. Infect the enemy with this nasty little virus and they'd all be to preoccupied calling Huey down the big white telephone to worry about blowing people up!
Well, that's my excuse for not remembering anyway. As for The Significant Other, well, you'll just have to ask him, but it's my birthday next week and all I can say is that I better get a bloody good birthday present! I can forgive one little slip up!!
On to wedding news. Due to being out of action recently I haven't managed a huge amount of planning, organising etc this last week, I have, however, been measured (which was actually not too terrible due to aforementioned sickness causing waist to shrink and stomach to almsot flatten), tweaked the design of my dress, booked the organist and sent off colour swatches to Vicky so that she can work on our invites, encorporating the colours and no doubt coming up with something fabulous. I wait with baited breath!
The Reverend from our local parish has been emailed although I haven't as yet had a reply and I may have to start mission pester. And, as if that wasn't quite enough for one week, I have even chosen one of the readings and all three of the hymns. Phew. Even two days making close friends with the toilet can't keep a good girl down!
Next week...first cotton fitting. So excited!!!
It's not that either of us are uptight, bah humbug, love smug scrooges. We both enjoy a soppy moment and a kiss and cuddle on the sofa as well as the rest. Neither is it that we have both been in remote parts of the world for the last few days, surrounded by pigs, chickens and camels far away from any kind of civilisation. The Significant Other does work away during the week but I'm pretty sure Darlington is only up the motorway.
No, MY excuse for being so forgetful and plain unromantic is that I'd spent the two days previous either hugging the toilet or squatting on it due to a severe case of sickness and diarrohea. I don't remember the last time I felt so ill, except prehaps after a particularly heavy night on the vino, but as I said I don't quite remember... No, this particular bout was so bad I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. In fact, I firmly believe it could be the ultimate weapon in the fight against war. Infect the enemy with this nasty little virus and they'd all be to preoccupied calling Huey down the big white telephone to worry about blowing people up!
Well, that's my excuse for not remembering anyway. As for The Significant Other, well, you'll just have to ask him, but it's my birthday next week and all I can say is that I better get a bloody good birthday present! I can forgive one little slip up!!
On to wedding news. Due to being out of action recently I haven't managed a huge amount of planning, organising etc this last week, I have, however, been measured (which was actually not too terrible due to aforementioned sickness causing waist to shrink and stomach to almsot flatten), tweaked the design of my dress, booked the organist and sent off colour swatches to Vicky so that she can work on our invites, encorporating the colours and no doubt coming up with something fabulous. I wait with baited breath!
The Reverend from our local parish has been emailed although I haven't as yet had a reply and I may have to start mission pester. And, as if that wasn't quite enough for one week, I have even chosen one of the readings and all three of the hymns. Phew. Even two days making close friends with the toilet can't keep a good girl down!
Next week...first cotton fitting. So excited!!!
Tuesday 9 February 2010
In Which DB and the Significant Other Meet the Reverend and Sign on the Dotted Line
Call me naive or just a little bit too blasé, but when it comes to this wedding malarkey I really didn't realise how much leg work there is when planning for the big day. Usually, I find it hard enough to remember to put my knickers on the right way, let alone working out a seating plan, ordering save the dates, invites, name cards..., buying favours, gifts and choosing flowers, hiring cars, booking venues, hotels etc as well as deciding what style dress I want, what colour the bridesmaids dresses should be and and what the hell we're going to do with the dog on the day in question. (The Significant Other has put his foot down and refused my request to let her walk down the aisle with me wearing a gigantic bow around her pretty little whippet head!)
My cranium is already swimming with these endless lists, and now, after a cosy Friday night with the Reverend, my list has just grown somewhat and I fear there is not enough sauvignon blanc in this world to carry me through. I now have to add to my already thronging list the following: Find contact number of our local parish church and speak to them about reading our bands, choose/write readings and decide who to ask to read them, write own prayer of thanksgiving (Reverend's idea met with a mortified look from Significant Other) otherwise chose one from recommended list, decide which hymns we would like and, finally, see if our dwindling budget will stretch to a choir as well as bells or whether something is going to have to give. Costs are spiralling and my nerves are diminishing. Nothing, it appears, comes for free!
On a more relaxed note, the Reverend it seems is a really lovely, albeit ever so slightly off the wall lady who offered us tea and biscuits and didn't even chastise me when she asked me a question and I replied with the rather inappropriate, "Oh God, I haven't even thought about that" Oops!
My cranium is already swimming with these endless lists, and now, after a cosy Friday night with the Reverend, my list has just grown somewhat and I fear there is not enough sauvignon blanc in this world to carry me through. I now have to add to my already thronging list the following: Find contact number of our local parish church and speak to them about reading our bands, choose/write readings and decide who to ask to read them, write own prayer of thanksgiving (Reverend's idea met with a mortified look from Significant Other) otherwise chose one from recommended list, decide which hymns we would like and, finally, see if our dwindling budget will stretch to a choir as well as bells or whether something is going to have to give. Costs are spiralling and my nerves are diminishing. Nothing, it appears, comes for free!
On a more relaxed note, the Reverend it seems is a really lovely, albeit ever so slightly off the wall lady who offered us tea and biscuits and didn't even chastise me when she asked me a question and I replied with the rather inappropriate, "Oh God, I haven't even thought about that" Oops!
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