This week I has mostly been...snotty! This does not an attractive future bride make. Everywhere I have gone I've left a trail of tissues in my wake and I have been sounding very much like Darth Vader on a bad day.
Working outside in the rain and snow has also not helped matters and I have spent the week feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself. Top this off with the fact that I have been bitten, trodden on and pulled around in all directions and I am failing to see the funny side. But before you start raising your eyebrows, Ben and I aren't into any of that weird, kooky, masochistic kinda stuff, I work with horses and if you're for one minute thinking that a man is demanding and temperamental then you should spend a day working on a yard with thoroughbreds that nurse egos the size of Mount Vesuvius. These aren't your run of the mill welsh cob types, or, say, Su Bos of the horsey world, oh no these are the ultra beautiful, but nownright bizarre and wacky Angelina Jolies who don't like to be told what to do and will do anything to put you in your place. I have the bruises to prove it!!
Moaning aside, my job is saving me a fortune in gym fees. I go to work and spend eight hours a day doing all kinds of physical work and get paid for it. Fantastic! I'd got more than a little slack in the healthy eating/exercise department over summer and I was toying with the idea of starting some fad diet that I would give up after only one week when the urge for chocolate became too great. Now I can eat almost anything I want (within reason) and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to run five miles just to compensate for it. Thank heavens for small mercys!
Therefore, my advice to any brides out there wanting to shape up... get a job working on a yard shovelling poop and being pulled from pillar to post. It may not be glamourous but it sure does flatten the stomach and tone up those bingo wings!!
So that's it, snotty grotty's offering of the day. I apologise that it is not very wedding orientated but there are times when even DB has to step back and distance herself from the stress of it all. That said, you'll all be pleased to hear that Reverend has proved himself to be a man of modern times and has been in touch by email to discuss matrimonial arrangements. We are to meet up this week and bring any plans we have made along with us. Well...I have a pretty good idea who I'm marrying and a rough idea at what time I'd like the ceremony to take place but as for the rest, I'm just going to have to wing it and hope that I look like I know what I'm doing. I've managed it this far...!
Sunday 31 January 2010
Monday 25 January 2010
In Which DB Just Can't Connect With the Reverend
At the time of writing DB is sitting with a big, smug grin on her face for today has been what I would call a CPD...constructive planning day.
Not only have I managed to come up with the final design for my wedding dress (with more than a little help from my brilliant mother) I have also decided on the fabric and colour of said dress, ditto the bridesmaids and booked the wedding car (http://www.cadillac4u.com). All this without breaking a sweat.
But before I pat myself on the back as a job well done and leave you all clapping in admiration I do have to confess to to one little task I did not pull off with aplomb...I just can't seem to connect with the Reverend!!
Now this is the man that is more than a little essential in the smooth running of our wedding day as well as the rehearals and regular church outings that go before it. All said this is not a good predicament and something must be done. I have to re-establish a connection!
At this point I feel I may be misleading you a little. The connection I am talking about here is not one of a spiritual, mental or even amicable kind, it's is more of a wireless one that involves that wonder of modern technology, the mobile phone. The problem is simple, the telephone number I have for Reverend Lowe, the same number on the notice board outside the church that I have checked, re-checked and then checked again just to make sure, comes back at me with a long, dull and damn right frustrating tone. It doesn't even connect when I try it one last time for the 100th time that day!
So my conclusion is thus. Either my mobile is actually a demon in disguise that would burn up and explode on connection to a man of the church (which is highly unlikely) or the Reverend's number has changed and they have forgotten to update it on the notice board (that I have checked, re-checked and checked again).
Therefore, I am going to have to go back to a time long forgotten, a time when telecommunications was a distant and unheard of phenomenon and dragons lived in caves breathing fire on valiant knights, and actually visit the man in person. Either that or dust off my quill and ink and penn a letter requesting and audience with him which I shall send by carrier pigeon.
Alternatively I could send him an email with the address I got today and hope that hasn't changed either. Yet I can't help thinking that the pen and ink sounds so much more romantic and that modern technology has no real place in the age old tradition ceremony of marriage. Therefore, watch this space, I'm off to find me a pigeon!
Not only have I managed to come up with the final design for my wedding dress (with more than a little help from my brilliant mother) I have also decided on the fabric and colour of said dress, ditto the bridesmaids and booked the wedding car (http://www.cadillac4u.com). All this without breaking a sweat.
But before I pat myself on the back as a job well done and leave you all clapping in admiration I do have to confess to to one little task I did not pull off with aplomb...I just can't seem to connect with the Reverend!!
Now this is the man that is more than a little essential in the smooth running of our wedding day as well as the rehearals and regular church outings that go before it. All said this is not a good predicament and something must be done. I have to re-establish a connection!
At this point I feel I may be misleading you a little. The connection I am talking about here is not one of a spiritual, mental or even amicable kind, it's is more of a wireless one that involves that wonder of modern technology, the mobile phone. The problem is simple, the telephone number I have for Reverend Lowe, the same number on the notice board outside the church that I have checked, re-checked and then checked again just to make sure, comes back at me with a long, dull and damn right frustrating tone. It doesn't even connect when I try it one last time for the 100th time that day!
So my conclusion is thus. Either my mobile is actually a demon in disguise that would burn up and explode on connection to a man of the church (which is highly unlikely) or the Reverend's number has changed and they have forgotten to update it on the notice board (that I have checked, re-checked and checked again).
Therefore, I am going to have to go back to a time long forgotten, a time when telecommunications was a distant and unheard of phenomenon and dragons lived in caves breathing fire on valiant knights, and actually visit the man in person. Either that or dust off my quill and ink and penn a letter requesting and audience with him which I shall send by carrier pigeon.
Alternatively I could send him an email with the address I got today and hope that hasn't changed either. Yet I can't help thinking that the pen and ink sounds so much more romantic and that modern technology has no real place in the age old tradition ceremony of marriage. Therefore, watch this space, I'm off to find me a pigeon!
Thursday 21 January 2010
The demented bride finally pulls her finger out
Piles of bridal magazines littered around the house - check.
Numerous pieces of literature from various bridal companies offering their services - check.
Venue, church, music, photographer and marquee booked - check.
Anything else remotely to do with impending wedding decided, booked and blissfully finished - not a chance! I've known that I'm getting married for nearly a year now but it only hit me on the chime of 12 0'clock New Year's Eve that it is actually happening this year, in the not too distant future and apart from securing the few essential and necessary requirements I have done diddly squat about it.
Given that I am taken to worrying about the smallest thing and have been known to stress to the point of mild hysteria then I find myself in a potentially forehead vein popping moment. Add to that the fact that I am on a self imposed alcohol ban until the end of this month then the results could be catastrophic! But before I going running to the hills in a state of panic I am taking a deep breath and reaching for the bottle of alcohol free perspective. I have six months till I say "I do", mother is a wedding dress designer so I don't have to spend dispairing days trawling around various bridal wear shops in search of the perfect dress only to end up in floods of tears because everyone I try on just isn't 'the one' and I have a fantastic group of people around me that will do their best to organise my disorganised, chaotic life, point me in the right direction and calm my ever fraying nerves when I start reaching for my running shoes with the hills in sight!
So, if like me you are also about to make one of the biggest commitments of your life, or have already done so and are sat there smug in the knowledge that all this is behind you, then join me as I count down to the big day and share in my trials and tribulations as I try to create the perfect day with no experience in this field whatsoever. Buckle up as I make no promises that this will be a smooth and pain free ride!
Numerous pieces of literature from various bridal companies offering their services - check.
Venue, church, music, photographer and marquee booked - check.
Anything else remotely to do with impending wedding decided, booked and blissfully finished - not a chance! I've known that I'm getting married for nearly a year now but it only hit me on the chime of 12 0'clock New Year's Eve that it is actually happening this year, in the not too distant future and apart from securing the few essential and necessary requirements I have done diddly squat about it.
Given that I am taken to worrying about the smallest thing and have been known to stress to the point of mild hysteria then I find myself in a potentially forehead vein popping moment. Add to that the fact that I am on a self imposed alcohol ban until the end of this month then the results could be catastrophic! But before I going running to the hills in a state of panic I am taking a deep breath and reaching for the bottle of alcohol free perspective. I have six months till I say "I do", mother is a wedding dress designer so I don't have to spend dispairing days trawling around various bridal wear shops in search of the perfect dress only to end up in floods of tears because everyone I try on just isn't 'the one' and I have a fantastic group of people around me that will do their best to organise my disorganised, chaotic life, point me in the right direction and calm my ever fraying nerves when I start reaching for my running shoes with the hills in sight!
So, if like me you are also about to make one of the biggest commitments of your life, or have already done so and are sat there smug in the knowledge that all this is behind you, then join me as I count down to the big day and share in my trials and tribulations as I try to create the perfect day with no experience in this field whatsoever. Buckle up as I make no promises that this will be a smooth and pain free ride!
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