Well hello stranger!! Yes, I know, it's been way too long, but then don't you always find that you have far more interesting conversations with people you haven't seen for a while rather than those you see all the time? There's only so many times you can ask how's your day been before you begin to get bored of the same old reply, so I thought I'd wait until I had something interesting to report. And that thing that is so interesting is this...I'm really starting to panic!
I'm sure this is perfectly normal and that every bride to be experiences some degree of anxiety. It's not that I'm having doubts or considering dusting off the cobwebs on my Nikés and beating a hasty retreat. Believe me, I know a good thing when I see it. It's just that I'm beginning to realise how much work and meticulous planning go into organising the perfect wedding and i'm not convinced I'm cut out for the job.
A good day in my world is one where I remember to brush my teeth before I leave for work. Honestly, there have been times when I've driven half way to the yard and realised the somewhat stale and stuffy air isn't coming from outside but is infact caused by the fur still coating my molars as a result of the curry I scoffed the night before. Dilema, do I turn around and risk being late or do I continue and risk the embarrassing whispers of my colleagues muttering 'halitosis' behind my back? The answer is usually the latter, but I do however always carry extra strong gum. Toothpaste in a tab!!! And before you start thinking that I have complete disregard for dental hygiene this is not something that happens every week, just maybe once a month. It's a terrible infliction!
So how do I calm the nerves and turn my muddled brain into a organised and logical one? How do I take the endless list of 'to-do's' and turn them into 'dones'? How do I take my preverbial head out of the preverbial sand and start checking off that list in earnest? Any of you out there who have been where I am now and have come out the otherside proud and in the knowledge that they pulled off the perfect day then please pass on your secret as I am feeling more than a little overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. In the name of sanity pass forth your wisdom and help this demented bride!!
Friday 9 April 2010
Tuesday 30 March 2010
In Which DB Reaches a Decision
Votes in, numbers counted, decision made. Any late comers will have to go with the judges final decision. On no account will allowances be made. The date for the Hen Do Of The Year is now officially the first weekend in July. Thank God for that.
All that remains is to decide where it's going to take place...and here we go again. That didn't last long did it. Now the emails are going to start all over again and there's bound to be those who don't fancy the ideas I come up with. Too expensive, too difficult to get to, don't like heights, don't like water, don't work with children and animals.......I can feel my nerves beginning to unravel all over again! So I think now is the time to pass the responsibility to the bridesmaids and let them deal with it. After all isn't that how it's traditionally done and I'm all for tradition. I'll be happy with anywhere except Blackpool, Bangor or Barmouth (apologies to anyone from these places, no offence meant). I'm also gonna have to insist on nothing less than 3* and there must be at least one proper bottle of champagne (Sainsbury's own will do after a few!). Strippers are a no no, the very thought makes me cringe, all baby oil, G strings and a face only a mother could love, and I will absolutely not, on any account, go out with a dildo and L Plates tied around my neck. A woman has to maintain a modicum of dignity!
All that remains is to decide where it's going to take place...and here we go again. That didn't last long did it. Now the emails are going to start all over again and there's bound to be those who don't fancy the ideas I come up with. Too expensive, too difficult to get to, don't like heights, don't like water, don't work with children and animals.......I can feel my nerves beginning to unravel all over again! So I think now is the time to pass the responsibility to the bridesmaids and let them deal with it. After all isn't that how it's traditionally done and I'm all for tradition. I'll be happy with anywhere except Blackpool, Bangor or Barmouth (apologies to anyone from these places, no offence meant). I'm also gonna have to insist on nothing less than 3* and there must be at least one proper bottle of champagne (Sainsbury's own will do after a few!). Strippers are a no no, the very thought makes me cringe, all baby oil, G strings and a face only a mother could love, and I will absolutely not, on any account, go out with a dildo and L Plates tied around my neck. A woman has to maintain a modicum of dignity!
Friday 19 March 2010
In Which DB Stresses About her Hen Do, Don't, Do, Don't...
How, pray tell, do you arrange a get together with a large group of really special friends and find a date that everyone can make? If anyone has the answer to this PLEASE let me know!!
For the last few weeks I have been going round and round and left and right and side to side trying to find a weekend that everyone (or at least the majority) can make and so far I keep hitting that proverbial brick wall. AAAARRRRHHH!!! I'm seriously considering having a Hen Don't. Is it really worth all this hassle just so I can go out dressed in some hideously embarrassing outfit, to end up in some cringeworthy situations and drink more than the entire guests at my wedding...well...yes it really is.
It's an age old tradition and a great excuse to get together with all your favourite girlies and have them all to yourself for one night. How often do you get the chance to have all these fantastic people together when even though you try you never do get off your arse and arrange these monthly get togethers you've been promising. Come on, admit it, we all do it.
Of course, the problem is you never can get all these people together, in the same place, on the same night and now I'm left with the dilema of finding a date for the majority to the sacrifice of
the few. But I want them all!!!! So I pleading with you all, any solutions to this hair pulling dilema and this DB will be indebted to you forever...answers on a postcard.
For the last few weeks I have been going round and round and left and right and side to side trying to find a weekend that everyone (or at least the majority) can make and so far I keep hitting that proverbial brick wall. AAAARRRRHHH!!! I'm seriously considering having a Hen Don't. Is it really worth all this hassle just so I can go out dressed in some hideously embarrassing outfit, to end up in some cringeworthy situations and drink more than the entire guests at my wedding...well...yes it really is.
It's an age old tradition and a great excuse to get together with all your favourite girlies and have them all to yourself for one night. How often do you get the chance to have all these fantastic people together when even though you try you never do get off your arse and arrange these monthly get togethers you've been promising. Come on, admit it, we all do it.
Of course, the problem is you never can get all these people together, in the same place, on the same night and now I'm left with the dilema of finding a date for the majority to the sacrifice of
the few. But I want them all!!!! So I pleading with you all, any solutions to this hair pulling dilema and this DB will be indebted to you forever...answers on a postcard.
Saturday 13 March 2010
In Which DB Finds the Answer to Our Hair Prayers…and There Is No L’Oreal In Sight!
Sorry… I just want to say this first and foremost to all the loyal and patient followers that have been encouraging and following me along the way. In all honestly, when written, it seems a feeble and disappointingly ineffective word, especially when typed through the keys of a basic and middle aged keyboard! However, I feel that it is the most direct and honest word I can use to all of you who have supported me with this blog and have been left waiting for updates only to be met with, well…nothing.
What can I say? I can offer a number of reasons… I have been busy, preoccupied, tired, working blah, blah, blah…but enough of the excuses, there are always enough hours in the day if you are dedicated enough. So here I am, blogging all of you that care at 1.30 in the morning and as if that isn’t enough, to show you that I really do appreciate your support, I am about just about to let you in on one of the world’s best kept secrets…Morrocanoil!
Ladies, repeat this word over and over and then over again, as, no matter how many times Cheryl Cole, with her flawless luscious, unachievable, thick and flowing locks, tells you she’s found the answer to your hair prayers, L’Oreal has now been left looking like the new kid in the playground compared to this bad boy.
Gone is my frazzled and over bleached straw like barnet, only to be replaced by enviable silken tresses after only one application (max 5ml) of this wonder oil. I am a convert! Cheap, frizz free serum promising me salon beautiful hair…discarded with one swift and quick sweep of the hand across my once cluttered dressing table crammed with products I rarely used and that never delivered. If I didn’t know and trust my hairdresser to the extent that I do I would have mistaken her faith in this product as nothing more than a ploy to get me to part with my hard earned and ever dwindling cash. At £30 a bottle this is by no means a cheap fix but well worth every penny, and the fact that a little goes a long way means that it should last for a long time meaning that it is actually fantastic value for money.
So there, I hope this invaluable and no longer well kept secret goes a little way to mending bridges and I promise to dust off my laptop and tap away at those keys on a much more regular basis!
Now to the most important part of my blog…wedding plans! As ever, I am as ever more than a little disorganised and have still not got round to informing my local parish of a certain fast approaching nuptials so that they can read our banns. A slightly important part of the whole process I think you’ll agree and I now have given myself a major talking to. By this time Monday it will all have been sorted and the Significant Other and I will be planning our first Sunday service trip to St Mary Magdalene church.
On a more positive note, my dress is coming along beautifully and I have now had a fitting in the actual fabric. It is going to look fantastic even if I do say so myself! I almost can’t wait the four months until I get to wear it, but then patience has never been one of my better qualities!
I have also now ordered my Save the Date cards and eagerly await their arrival. They are beautiful and summery and Vicky has done a tremendous job. I just hope that I have ordered these in time and that people haven’t already booked their holidays away. July is a popular time of year. It may end up being a very small and quaint affair after all, but then every cloud…it won’t cost nearly as much!!!
What can I say? I can offer a number of reasons… I have been busy, preoccupied, tired, working blah, blah, blah…but enough of the excuses, there are always enough hours in the day if you are dedicated enough. So here I am, blogging all of you that care at 1.30 in the morning and as if that isn’t enough, to show you that I really do appreciate your support, I am about just about to let you in on one of the world’s best kept secrets…Morrocanoil!
Ladies, repeat this word over and over and then over again, as, no matter how many times Cheryl Cole, with her flawless luscious, unachievable, thick and flowing locks, tells you she’s found the answer to your hair prayers, L’Oreal has now been left looking like the new kid in the playground compared to this bad boy.
Gone is my frazzled and over bleached straw like barnet, only to be replaced by enviable silken tresses after only one application (max 5ml) of this wonder oil. I am a convert! Cheap, frizz free serum promising me salon beautiful hair…discarded with one swift and quick sweep of the hand across my once cluttered dressing table crammed with products I rarely used and that never delivered. If I didn’t know and trust my hairdresser to the extent that I do I would have mistaken her faith in this product as nothing more than a ploy to get me to part with my hard earned and ever dwindling cash. At £30 a bottle this is by no means a cheap fix but well worth every penny, and the fact that a little goes a long way means that it should last for a long time meaning that it is actually fantastic value for money.
So there, I hope this invaluable and no longer well kept secret goes a little way to mending bridges and I promise to dust off my laptop and tap away at those keys on a much more regular basis!
Now to the most important part of my blog…wedding plans! As ever, I am as ever more than a little disorganised and have still not got round to informing my local parish of a certain fast approaching nuptials so that they can read our banns. A slightly important part of the whole process I think you’ll agree and I now have given myself a major talking to. By this time Monday it will all have been sorted and the Significant Other and I will be planning our first Sunday service trip to St Mary Magdalene church.
On a more positive note, my dress is coming along beautifully and I have now had a fitting in the actual fabric. It is going to look fantastic even if I do say so myself! I almost can’t wait the four months until I get to wear it, but then patience has never been one of my better qualities!
I have also now ordered my Save the Date cards and eagerly await their arrival. They are beautiful and summery and Vicky has done a tremendous job. I just hope that I have ordered these in time and that people haven’t already booked their holidays away. July is a popular time of year. It may end up being a very small and quaint affair after all, but then every cloud…it won’t cost nearly as much!!!
Wednesday 24 February 2010
In Which DB Gets Mercilessly Thrown Around but Still Ends Up Looking Like a Princess
It's been a while since I last blogged but you'll all be pleased to hear that the terrible stomach infliction that rendered me near useless has moved on to some other poor victim and I am back to subjecting my body to all kinds of filth (mainly grape and grain with the odd cocoa bean chucked in for good measure)
Not so good to hear is the news that I have been unmercilessly thrown around from pillar to post like a rag doll. I feel battered and bruised and fear that my aching bones are are going to be as stiff as a ferociously whipped egg white by the morning. I am sat here covered in stick on heat pads that I resemble a patchwork quilt. But worry ye not, The Significant Other has not turned into a testosterone fuelled monster taken to putting his wench in her place. Alas, it is my choice of work companion that is to blame. The four legged friend (or not on this occassion)...the horse!!
I understand that I have no-one else to blame for my choice of career, and that dealing with young thoroughbred racehorses is always going to be teamed with some degree of danger and uncertainty, but to be flung to the ground three times in a row is more than a woman of the ripe old age of thirty...something...can take! To add insult to injury the lady cashier at my bank asked me today if I had life insurance. Does she know something I don't?! Then again, after today's near death experiences, I think she may have a point.
But, less of the melodramatics, as every cloud has a silver lining and all that. Today I tried on the first cotton fitting of my dress and I can see for the first time what I have until this moment carried around in my head as merely a dream until now. To see something so desired brought to life like that is a truly fantastic and emotional feeling. This dress is unique to me. It is designed by me to be worn only be me and will hold a wealth of memories and emotions within its fabric for years to come. I can feel butterflies as I write this and I am not usually one to get so excited by cotton!
So I may have come to my mother's studio battered, defeated and sore from head to toe, but I stood in front of that mirror, back straight, stomach pulled in and beaming from ear to ear. You can buck the princess off but she will always come back fighting to strike a pose!
Not so good to hear is the news that I have been unmercilessly thrown around from pillar to post like a rag doll. I feel battered and bruised and fear that my aching bones are are going to be as stiff as a ferociously whipped egg white by the morning. I am sat here covered in stick on heat pads that I resemble a patchwork quilt. But worry ye not, The Significant Other has not turned into a testosterone fuelled monster taken to putting his wench in her place. Alas, it is my choice of work companion that is to blame. The four legged friend (or not on this occassion)...the horse!!
I understand that I have no-one else to blame for my choice of career, and that dealing with young thoroughbred racehorses is always going to be teamed with some degree of danger and uncertainty, but to be flung to the ground three times in a row is more than a woman of the ripe old age of thirty...something...can take! To add insult to injury the lady cashier at my bank asked me today if I had life insurance. Does she know something I don't?! Then again, after today's near death experiences, I think she may have a point.
But, less of the melodramatics, as every cloud has a silver lining and all that. Today I tried on the first cotton fitting of my dress and I can see for the first time what I have until this moment carried around in my head as merely a dream until now. To see something so desired brought to life like that is a truly fantastic and emotional feeling. This dress is unique to me. It is designed by me to be worn only be me and will hold a wealth of memories and emotions within its fabric for years to come. I can feel butterflies as I write this and I am not usually one to get so excited by cotton!
So I may have come to my mother's studio battered, defeated and sore from head to toe, but I stood in front of that mirror, back straight, stomach pulled in and beaming from ear to ear. You can buck the princess off but she will always come back fighting to strike a pose!
Tuesday 16 February 2010
In Which DB and The Significant Other Are More Than a Little Unromantic
With our wedding fast approaching and spring just around the corner you would probably have expected The Significant Other and I to have been overflowing with love and bestowing gooey romantic gestures on each other this Valentines Day. The actual truth of the matter is that we both quite forgot what day it was until around mid afternoon and by then any little gesture would have felt forced and contrived.
It's not that either of us are uptight, bah humbug, love smug scrooges. We both enjoy a soppy moment and a kiss and cuddle on the sofa as well as the rest. Neither is it that we have both been in remote parts of the world for the last few days, surrounded by pigs, chickens and camels far away from any kind of civilisation. The Significant Other does work away during the week but I'm pretty sure Darlington is only up the motorway.
No, MY excuse for being so forgetful and plain unromantic is that I'd spent the two days previous either hugging the toilet or squatting on it due to a severe case of sickness and diarrohea. I don't remember the last time I felt so ill, except prehaps after a particularly heavy night on the vino, but as I said I don't quite remember... No, this particular bout was so bad I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. In fact, I firmly believe it could be the ultimate weapon in the fight against war. Infect the enemy with this nasty little virus and they'd all be to preoccupied calling Huey down the big white telephone to worry about blowing people up!
Well, that's my excuse for not remembering anyway. As for The Significant Other, well, you'll just have to ask him, but it's my birthday next week and all I can say is that I better get a bloody good birthday present! I can forgive one little slip up!!
On to wedding news. Due to being out of action recently I haven't managed a huge amount of planning, organising etc this last week, I have, however, been measured (which was actually not too terrible due to aforementioned sickness causing waist to shrink and stomach to almsot flatten), tweaked the design of my dress, booked the organist and sent off colour swatches to Vicky so that she can work on our invites, encorporating the colours and no doubt coming up with something fabulous. I wait with baited breath!
The Reverend from our local parish has been emailed although I haven't as yet had a reply and I may have to start mission pester. And, as if that wasn't quite enough for one week, I have even chosen one of the readings and all three of the hymns. Phew. Even two days making close friends with the toilet can't keep a good girl down!
Next week...first cotton fitting. So excited!!!
It's not that either of us are uptight, bah humbug, love smug scrooges. We both enjoy a soppy moment and a kiss and cuddle on the sofa as well as the rest. Neither is it that we have both been in remote parts of the world for the last few days, surrounded by pigs, chickens and camels far away from any kind of civilisation. The Significant Other does work away during the week but I'm pretty sure Darlington is only up the motorway.
No, MY excuse for being so forgetful and plain unromantic is that I'd spent the two days previous either hugging the toilet or squatting on it due to a severe case of sickness and diarrohea. I don't remember the last time I felt so ill, except prehaps after a particularly heavy night on the vino, but as I said I don't quite remember... No, this particular bout was so bad I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. In fact, I firmly believe it could be the ultimate weapon in the fight against war. Infect the enemy with this nasty little virus and they'd all be to preoccupied calling Huey down the big white telephone to worry about blowing people up!
Well, that's my excuse for not remembering anyway. As for The Significant Other, well, you'll just have to ask him, but it's my birthday next week and all I can say is that I better get a bloody good birthday present! I can forgive one little slip up!!
On to wedding news. Due to being out of action recently I haven't managed a huge amount of planning, organising etc this last week, I have, however, been measured (which was actually not too terrible due to aforementioned sickness causing waist to shrink and stomach to almsot flatten), tweaked the design of my dress, booked the organist and sent off colour swatches to Vicky so that she can work on our invites, encorporating the colours and no doubt coming up with something fabulous. I wait with baited breath!
The Reverend from our local parish has been emailed although I haven't as yet had a reply and I may have to start mission pester. And, as if that wasn't quite enough for one week, I have even chosen one of the readings and all three of the hymns. Phew. Even two days making close friends with the toilet can't keep a good girl down!
Next week...first cotton fitting. So excited!!!
Tuesday 9 February 2010
In Which DB and the Significant Other Meet the Reverend and Sign on the Dotted Line
Call me naive or just a little bit too blasé, but when it comes to this wedding malarkey I really didn't realise how much leg work there is when planning for the big day. Usually, I find it hard enough to remember to put my knickers on the right way, let alone working out a seating plan, ordering save the dates, invites, name cards..., buying favours, gifts and choosing flowers, hiring cars, booking venues, hotels etc as well as deciding what style dress I want, what colour the bridesmaids dresses should be and and what the hell we're going to do with the dog on the day in question. (The Significant Other has put his foot down and refused my request to let her walk down the aisle with me wearing a gigantic bow around her pretty little whippet head!)
My cranium is already swimming with these endless lists, and now, after a cosy Friday night with the Reverend, my list has just grown somewhat and I fear there is not enough sauvignon blanc in this world to carry me through. I now have to add to my already thronging list the following: Find contact number of our local parish church and speak to them about reading our bands, choose/write readings and decide who to ask to read them, write own prayer of thanksgiving (Reverend's idea met with a mortified look from Significant Other) otherwise chose one from recommended list, decide which hymns we would like and, finally, see if our dwindling budget will stretch to a choir as well as bells or whether something is going to have to give. Costs are spiralling and my nerves are diminishing. Nothing, it appears, comes for free!
On a more relaxed note, the Reverend it seems is a really lovely, albeit ever so slightly off the wall lady who offered us tea and biscuits and didn't even chastise me when she asked me a question and I replied with the rather inappropriate, "Oh God, I haven't even thought about that" Oops!
My cranium is already swimming with these endless lists, and now, after a cosy Friday night with the Reverend, my list has just grown somewhat and I fear there is not enough sauvignon blanc in this world to carry me through. I now have to add to my already thronging list the following: Find contact number of our local parish church and speak to them about reading our bands, choose/write readings and decide who to ask to read them, write own prayer of thanksgiving (Reverend's idea met with a mortified look from Significant Other) otherwise chose one from recommended list, decide which hymns we would like and, finally, see if our dwindling budget will stretch to a choir as well as bells or whether something is going to have to give. Costs are spiralling and my nerves are diminishing. Nothing, it appears, comes for free!
On a more relaxed note, the Reverend it seems is a really lovely, albeit ever so slightly off the wall lady who offered us tea and biscuits and didn't even chastise me when she asked me a question and I replied with the rather inappropriate, "Oh God, I haven't even thought about that" Oops!
Thursday 4 February 2010
In Which the Reverend has a Sex Change
Now I don't want to cause you any alarm, but this week I discovered a startling fact...the Reverend has changed sex!!
Now this, I'm sure you would agree, is a rather scandalous and news worthy piece of information and definitely something to get them all in a flutter at the local WI. Well, at least it would be if I wasn't misleading you all somewhat with my telling of this story. The truth is that our original Reverend has passed the buck and is off on his jollys leaving the unenviable task of orcestrating our nuptials to a female Revervend known as Jan, who according to my mother seems 'very nice.' I can only take her word for it as my trips to the church have been few and far between of late, something of course I shall endeavour to rectify in the oncoming months!
So, as the Man Rev suns himself in some sunnier climes the Woman Rev will be teaching me and the other half the ways of the Lord and helping him and I to make an honest woman/man of ourselves. I hope she has a strong and unfaltering belief in her faith because I feel she's going to need it!
Apart form this, the only final piece of wedding news I have to report this week is that I am well on my way to making a final decision on the wedding stationary e.g invites, name cards etc and couldn't be happier with the company I have chosen to produce these exquisite works of art. Click onto www.vickytrainor.co.uk and you'll be given a wide range of both contemporary and retro/vintage styles to chose from. Not only this but Vicky will accomodate and rework any of her templates to precisely fit what you have in mind to make your statinonary original and individual to your big day.
Phew, at the risk of sounding like a PR tool for said company I am off to finish my bottle of Sauvignon (yes, I am now back off the wagon, and would not recommend sobriety to anyone!) and I'm going to swill away any thoughts of impending nuptials...until tomorrow that is, where it's nose back to the grindstone and guest lists to chew over...better stock up on the rosé then.
Untill next time.
Now this, I'm sure you would agree, is a rather scandalous and news worthy piece of information and definitely something to get them all in a flutter at the local WI. Well, at least it would be if I wasn't misleading you all somewhat with my telling of this story. The truth is that our original Reverend has passed the buck and is off on his jollys leaving the unenviable task of orcestrating our nuptials to a female Revervend known as Jan, who according to my mother seems 'very nice.' I can only take her word for it as my trips to the church have been few and far between of late, something of course I shall endeavour to rectify in the oncoming months!
So, as the Man Rev suns himself in some sunnier climes the Woman Rev will be teaching me and the other half the ways of the Lord and helping him and I to make an honest woman/man of ourselves. I hope she has a strong and unfaltering belief in her faith because I feel she's going to need it!
Apart form this, the only final piece of wedding news I have to report this week is that I am well on my way to making a final decision on the wedding stationary e.g invites, name cards etc and couldn't be happier with the company I have chosen to produce these exquisite works of art. Click onto www.vickytrainor.co.uk and you'll be given a wide range of both contemporary and retro/vintage styles to chose from. Not only this but Vicky will accomodate and rework any of her templates to precisely fit what you have in mind to make your statinonary original and individual to your big day.
Phew, at the risk of sounding like a PR tool for said company I am off to finish my bottle of Sauvignon (yes, I am now back off the wagon, and would not recommend sobriety to anyone!) and I'm going to swill away any thoughts of impending nuptials...until tomorrow that is, where it's nose back to the grindstone and guest lists to chew over...better stock up on the rosé then.
Untill next time.
Sunday 31 January 2010
In Which DB is a Recovering Snotty Grotty
This week I has mostly been...snotty! This does not an attractive future bride make. Everywhere I have gone I've left a trail of tissues in my wake and I have been sounding very much like Darth Vader on a bad day.
Working outside in the rain and snow has also not helped matters and I have spent the week feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself. Top this off with the fact that I have been bitten, trodden on and pulled around in all directions and I am failing to see the funny side. But before you start raising your eyebrows, Ben and I aren't into any of that weird, kooky, masochistic kinda stuff, I work with horses and if you're for one minute thinking that a man is demanding and temperamental then you should spend a day working on a yard with thoroughbreds that nurse egos the size of Mount Vesuvius. These aren't your run of the mill welsh cob types, or, say, Su Bos of the horsey world, oh no these are the ultra beautiful, but nownright bizarre and wacky Angelina Jolies who don't like to be told what to do and will do anything to put you in your place. I have the bruises to prove it!!
Moaning aside, my job is saving me a fortune in gym fees. I go to work and spend eight hours a day doing all kinds of physical work and get paid for it. Fantastic! I'd got more than a little slack in the healthy eating/exercise department over summer and I was toying with the idea of starting some fad diet that I would give up after only one week when the urge for chocolate became too great. Now I can eat almost anything I want (within reason) and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to run five miles just to compensate for it. Thank heavens for small mercys!
Therefore, my advice to any brides out there wanting to shape up... get a job working on a yard shovelling poop and being pulled from pillar to post. It may not be glamourous but it sure does flatten the stomach and tone up those bingo wings!!
So that's it, snotty grotty's offering of the day. I apologise that it is not very wedding orientated but there are times when even DB has to step back and distance herself from the stress of it all. That said, you'll all be pleased to hear that Reverend has proved himself to be a man of modern times and has been in touch by email to discuss matrimonial arrangements. We are to meet up this week and bring any plans we have made along with us. Well...I have a pretty good idea who I'm marrying and a rough idea at what time I'd like the ceremony to take place but as for the rest, I'm just going to have to wing it and hope that I look like I know what I'm doing. I've managed it this far...!
Working outside in the rain and snow has also not helped matters and I have spent the week feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself. Top this off with the fact that I have been bitten, trodden on and pulled around in all directions and I am failing to see the funny side. But before you start raising your eyebrows, Ben and I aren't into any of that weird, kooky, masochistic kinda stuff, I work with horses and if you're for one minute thinking that a man is demanding and temperamental then you should spend a day working on a yard with thoroughbreds that nurse egos the size of Mount Vesuvius. These aren't your run of the mill welsh cob types, or, say, Su Bos of the horsey world, oh no these are the ultra beautiful, but nownright bizarre and wacky Angelina Jolies who don't like to be told what to do and will do anything to put you in your place. I have the bruises to prove it!!
Moaning aside, my job is saving me a fortune in gym fees. I go to work and spend eight hours a day doing all kinds of physical work and get paid for it. Fantastic! I'd got more than a little slack in the healthy eating/exercise department over summer and I was toying with the idea of starting some fad diet that I would give up after only one week when the urge for chocolate became too great. Now I can eat almost anything I want (within reason) and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to run five miles just to compensate for it. Thank heavens for small mercys!
Therefore, my advice to any brides out there wanting to shape up... get a job working on a yard shovelling poop and being pulled from pillar to post. It may not be glamourous but it sure does flatten the stomach and tone up those bingo wings!!
So that's it, snotty grotty's offering of the day. I apologise that it is not very wedding orientated but there are times when even DB has to step back and distance herself from the stress of it all. That said, you'll all be pleased to hear that Reverend has proved himself to be a man of modern times and has been in touch by email to discuss matrimonial arrangements. We are to meet up this week and bring any plans we have made along with us. Well...I have a pretty good idea who I'm marrying and a rough idea at what time I'd like the ceremony to take place but as for the rest, I'm just going to have to wing it and hope that I look like I know what I'm doing. I've managed it this far...!
Monday 25 January 2010
In Which DB Just Can't Connect With the Reverend
At the time of writing DB is sitting with a big, smug grin on her face for today has been what I would call a CPD...constructive planning day.
Not only have I managed to come up with the final design for my wedding dress (with more than a little help from my brilliant mother) I have also decided on the fabric and colour of said dress, ditto the bridesmaids and booked the wedding car (http://www.cadillac4u.com). All this without breaking a sweat.
But before I pat myself on the back as a job well done and leave you all clapping in admiration I do have to confess to to one little task I did not pull off with aplomb...I just can't seem to connect with the Reverend!!
Now this is the man that is more than a little essential in the smooth running of our wedding day as well as the rehearals and regular church outings that go before it. All said this is not a good predicament and something must be done. I have to re-establish a connection!
At this point I feel I may be misleading you a little. The connection I am talking about here is not one of a spiritual, mental or even amicable kind, it's is more of a wireless one that involves that wonder of modern technology, the mobile phone. The problem is simple, the telephone number I have for Reverend Lowe, the same number on the notice board outside the church that I have checked, re-checked and then checked again just to make sure, comes back at me with a long, dull and damn right frustrating tone. It doesn't even connect when I try it one last time for the 100th time that day!
So my conclusion is thus. Either my mobile is actually a demon in disguise that would burn up and explode on connection to a man of the church (which is highly unlikely) or the Reverend's number has changed and they have forgotten to update it on the notice board (that I have checked, re-checked and checked again).
Therefore, I am going to have to go back to a time long forgotten, a time when telecommunications was a distant and unheard of phenomenon and dragons lived in caves breathing fire on valiant knights, and actually visit the man in person. Either that or dust off my quill and ink and penn a letter requesting and audience with him which I shall send by carrier pigeon.
Alternatively I could send him an email with the address I got today and hope that hasn't changed either. Yet I can't help thinking that the pen and ink sounds so much more romantic and that modern technology has no real place in the age old tradition ceremony of marriage. Therefore, watch this space, I'm off to find me a pigeon!
Not only have I managed to come up with the final design for my wedding dress (with more than a little help from my brilliant mother) I have also decided on the fabric and colour of said dress, ditto the bridesmaids and booked the wedding car (http://www.cadillac4u.com). All this without breaking a sweat.
But before I pat myself on the back as a job well done and leave you all clapping in admiration I do have to confess to to one little task I did not pull off with aplomb...I just can't seem to connect with the Reverend!!
Now this is the man that is more than a little essential in the smooth running of our wedding day as well as the rehearals and regular church outings that go before it. All said this is not a good predicament and something must be done. I have to re-establish a connection!
At this point I feel I may be misleading you a little. The connection I am talking about here is not one of a spiritual, mental or even amicable kind, it's is more of a wireless one that involves that wonder of modern technology, the mobile phone. The problem is simple, the telephone number I have for Reverend Lowe, the same number on the notice board outside the church that I have checked, re-checked and then checked again just to make sure, comes back at me with a long, dull and damn right frustrating tone. It doesn't even connect when I try it one last time for the 100th time that day!
So my conclusion is thus. Either my mobile is actually a demon in disguise that would burn up and explode on connection to a man of the church (which is highly unlikely) or the Reverend's number has changed and they have forgotten to update it on the notice board (that I have checked, re-checked and checked again).
Therefore, I am going to have to go back to a time long forgotten, a time when telecommunications was a distant and unheard of phenomenon and dragons lived in caves breathing fire on valiant knights, and actually visit the man in person. Either that or dust off my quill and ink and penn a letter requesting and audience with him which I shall send by carrier pigeon.
Alternatively I could send him an email with the address I got today and hope that hasn't changed either. Yet I can't help thinking that the pen and ink sounds so much more romantic and that modern technology has no real place in the age old tradition ceremony of marriage. Therefore, watch this space, I'm off to find me a pigeon!
Thursday 21 January 2010
The demented bride finally pulls her finger out
Piles of bridal magazines littered around the house - check.
Numerous pieces of literature from various bridal companies offering their services - check.
Venue, church, music, photographer and marquee booked - check.
Anything else remotely to do with impending wedding decided, booked and blissfully finished - not a chance! I've known that I'm getting married for nearly a year now but it only hit me on the chime of 12 0'clock New Year's Eve that it is actually happening this year, in the not too distant future and apart from securing the few essential and necessary requirements I have done diddly squat about it.
Given that I am taken to worrying about the smallest thing and have been known to stress to the point of mild hysteria then I find myself in a potentially forehead vein popping moment. Add to that the fact that I am on a self imposed alcohol ban until the end of this month then the results could be catastrophic! But before I going running to the hills in a state of panic I am taking a deep breath and reaching for the bottle of alcohol free perspective. I have six months till I say "I do", mother is a wedding dress designer so I don't have to spend dispairing days trawling around various bridal wear shops in search of the perfect dress only to end up in floods of tears because everyone I try on just isn't 'the one' and I have a fantastic group of people around me that will do their best to organise my disorganised, chaotic life, point me in the right direction and calm my ever fraying nerves when I start reaching for my running shoes with the hills in sight!
So, if like me you are also about to make one of the biggest commitments of your life, or have already done so and are sat there smug in the knowledge that all this is behind you, then join me as I count down to the big day and share in my trials and tribulations as I try to create the perfect day with no experience in this field whatsoever. Buckle up as I make no promises that this will be a smooth and pain free ride!
Numerous pieces of literature from various bridal companies offering their services - check.
Venue, church, music, photographer and marquee booked - check.
Anything else remotely to do with impending wedding decided, booked and blissfully finished - not a chance! I've known that I'm getting married for nearly a year now but it only hit me on the chime of 12 0'clock New Year's Eve that it is actually happening this year, in the not too distant future and apart from securing the few essential and necessary requirements I have done diddly squat about it.
Given that I am taken to worrying about the smallest thing and have been known to stress to the point of mild hysteria then I find myself in a potentially forehead vein popping moment. Add to that the fact that I am on a self imposed alcohol ban until the end of this month then the results could be catastrophic! But before I going running to the hills in a state of panic I am taking a deep breath and reaching for the bottle of alcohol free perspective. I have six months till I say "I do", mother is a wedding dress designer so I don't have to spend dispairing days trawling around various bridal wear shops in search of the perfect dress only to end up in floods of tears because everyone I try on just isn't 'the one' and I have a fantastic group of people around me that will do their best to organise my disorganised, chaotic life, point me in the right direction and calm my ever fraying nerves when I start reaching for my running shoes with the hills in sight!
So, if like me you are also about to make one of the biggest commitments of your life, or have already done so and are sat there smug in the knowledge that all this is behind you, then join me as I count down to the big day and share in my trials and tribulations as I try to create the perfect day with no experience in this field whatsoever. Buckle up as I make no promises that this will be a smooth and pain free ride!
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