It's been a while since I last blogged but you'll all be pleased to hear that the terrible stomach infliction that rendered me near useless has moved on to some other poor victim and I am back to subjecting my body to all kinds of filth (mainly grape and grain with the odd cocoa bean chucked in for good measure)
Not so good to hear is the news that I have been unmercilessly thrown around from pillar to post like a rag doll. I feel battered and bruised and fear that my aching bones are are going to be as stiff as a ferociously whipped egg white by the morning. I am sat here covered in stick on heat pads that I resemble a patchwork quilt. But worry ye not, The Significant Other has not turned into a testosterone fuelled monster taken to putting his wench in her place. Alas, it is my choice of work companion that is to blame. The four legged friend (or not on this occassion)...the horse!!
I understand that I have no-one else to blame for my choice of career, and that dealing with young thoroughbred racehorses is always going to be teamed with some degree of danger and uncertainty, but to be flung to the ground three times in a row is more than a woman of the ripe old age of thirty...something...can take! To add insult to injury the lady cashier at my bank asked me today if I had life insurance. Does she know something I don't?! Then again, after today's near death experiences, I think she may have a point.
But, less of the melodramatics, as every cloud has a silver lining and all that. Today I tried on the first cotton fitting of my dress and I can see for the first time what I have until this moment carried around in my head as merely a dream until now. To see something so desired brought to life like that is a truly fantastic and emotional feeling. This dress is unique to me. It is designed by me to be worn only be me and will hold a wealth of memories and emotions within its fabric for years to come. I can feel butterflies as I write this and I am not usually one to get so excited by cotton!
So I may have come to my mother's studio battered, defeated and sore from head to toe, but I stood in front of that mirror, back straight, stomach pulled in and beaming from ear to ear. You can buck the princess off but she will always come back fighting to strike a pose!
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
In Which DB and The Significant Other Are More Than a Little Unromantic
With our wedding fast approaching and spring just around the corner you would probably have expected The Significant Other and I to have been overflowing with love and bestowing gooey romantic gestures on each other this Valentines Day. The actual truth of the matter is that we both quite forgot what day it was until around mid afternoon and by then any little gesture would have felt forced and contrived.
It's not that either of us are uptight, bah humbug, love smug scrooges. We both enjoy a soppy moment and a kiss and cuddle on the sofa as well as the rest. Neither is it that we have both been in remote parts of the world for the last few days, surrounded by pigs, chickens and camels far away from any kind of civilisation. The Significant Other does work away during the week but I'm pretty sure Darlington is only up the motorway.
No, MY excuse for being so forgetful and plain unromantic is that I'd spent the two days previous either hugging the toilet or squatting on it due to a severe case of sickness and diarrohea. I don't remember the last time I felt so ill, except prehaps after a particularly heavy night on the vino, but as I said I don't quite remember... No, this particular bout was so bad I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. In fact, I firmly believe it could be the ultimate weapon in the fight against war. Infect the enemy with this nasty little virus and they'd all be to preoccupied calling Huey down the big white telephone to worry about blowing people up!
Well, that's my excuse for not remembering anyway. As for The Significant Other, well, you'll just have to ask him, but it's my birthday next week and all I can say is that I better get a bloody good birthday present! I can forgive one little slip up!!
On to wedding news. Due to being out of action recently I haven't managed a huge amount of planning, organising etc this last week, I have, however, been measured (which was actually not too terrible due to aforementioned sickness causing waist to shrink and stomach to almsot flatten), tweaked the design of my dress, booked the organist and sent off colour swatches to Vicky so that she can work on our invites, encorporating the colours and no doubt coming up with something fabulous. I wait with baited breath!
The Reverend from our local parish has been emailed although I haven't as yet had a reply and I may have to start mission pester. And, as if that wasn't quite enough for one week, I have even chosen one of the readings and all three of the hymns. Phew. Even two days making close friends with the toilet can't keep a good girl down!
Next week...first cotton fitting. So excited!!!
It's not that either of us are uptight, bah humbug, love smug scrooges. We both enjoy a soppy moment and a kiss and cuddle on the sofa as well as the rest. Neither is it that we have both been in remote parts of the world for the last few days, surrounded by pigs, chickens and camels far away from any kind of civilisation. The Significant Other does work away during the week but I'm pretty sure Darlington is only up the motorway.
No, MY excuse for being so forgetful and plain unromantic is that I'd spent the two days previous either hugging the toilet or squatting on it due to a severe case of sickness and diarrohea. I don't remember the last time I felt so ill, except prehaps after a particularly heavy night on the vino, but as I said I don't quite remember... No, this particular bout was so bad I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. In fact, I firmly believe it could be the ultimate weapon in the fight against war. Infect the enemy with this nasty little virus and they'd all be to preoccupied calling Huey down the big white telephone to worry about blowing people up!
Well, that's my excuse for not remembering anyway. As for The Significant Other, well, you'll just have to ask him, but it's my birthday next week and all I can say is that I better get a bloody good birthday present! I can forgive one little slip up!!
On to wedding news. Due to being out of action recently I haven't managed a huge amount of planning, organising etc this last week, I have, however, been measured (which was actually not too terrible due to aforementioned sickness causing waist to shrink and stomach to almsot flatten), tweaked the design of my dress, booked the organist and sent off colour swatches to Vicky so that she can work on our invites, encorporating the colours and no doubt coming up with something fabulous. I wait with baited breath!
The Reverend from our local parish has been emailed although I haven't as yet had a reply and I may have to start mission pester. And, as if that wasn't quite enough for one week, I have even chosen one of the readings and all three of the hymns. Phew. Even two days making close friends with the toilet can't keep a good girl down!
Next week...first cotton fitting. So excited!!!
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
In Which DB and the Significant Other Meet the Reverend and Sign on the Dotted Line
Call me naive or just a little bit too blasé, but when it comes to this wedding malarkey I really didn't realise how much leg work there is when planning for the big day. Usually, I find it hard enough to remember to put my knickers on the right way, let alone working out a seating plan, ordering save the dates, invites, name cards..., buying favours, gifts and choosing flowers, hiring cars, booking venues, hotels etc as well as deciding what style dress I want, what colour the bridesmaids dresses should be and and what the hell we're going to do with the dog on the day in question. (The Significant Other has put his foot down and refused my request to let her walk down the aisle with me wearing a gigantic bow around her pretty little whippet head!)
My cranium is already swimming with these endless lists, and now, after a cosy Friday night with the Reverend, my list has just grown somewhat and I fear there is not enough sauvignon blanc in this world to carry me through. I now have to add to my already thronging list the following: Find contact number of our local parish church and speak to them about reading our bands, choose/write readings and decide who to ask to read them, write own prayer of thanksgiving (Reverend's idea met with a mortified look from Significant Other) otherwise chose one from recommended list, decide which hymns we would like and, finally, see if our dwindling budget will stretch to a choir as well as bells or whether something is going to have to give. Costs are spiralling and my nerves are diminishing. Nothing, it appears, comes for free!
On a more relaxed note, the Reverend it seems is a really lovely, albeit ever so slightly off the wall lady who offered us tea and biscuits and didn't even chastise me when she asked me a question and I replied with the rather inappropriate, "Oh God, I haven't even thought about that" Oops!
My cranium is already swimming with these endless lists, and now, after a cosy Friday night with the Reverend, my list has just grown somewhat and I fear there is not enough sauvignon blanc in this world to carry me through. I now have to add to my already thronging list the following: Find contact number of our local parish church and speak to them about reading our bands, choose/write readings and decide who to ask to read them, write own prayer of thanksgiving (Reverend's idea met with a mortified look from Significant Other) otherwise chose one from recommended list, decide which hymns we would like and, finally, see if our dwindling budget will stretch to a choir as well as bells or whether something is going to have to give. Costs are spiralling and my nerves are diminishing. Nothing, it appears, comes for free!
On a more relaxed note, the Reverend it seems is a really lovely, albeit ever so slightly off the wall lady who offered us tea and biscuits and didn't even chastise me when she asked me a question and I replied with the rather inappropriate, "Oh God, I haven't even thought about that" Oops!
Thursday, 4 February 2010
In Which the Reverend has a Sex Change
Now I don't want to cause you any alarm, but this week I discovered a startling fact...the Reverend has changed sex!!
Now this, I'm sure you would agree, is a rather scandalous and news worthy piece of information and definitely something to get them all in a flutter at the local WI. Well, at least it would be if I wasn't misleading you all somewhat with my telling of this story. The truth is that our original Reverend has passed the buck and is off on his jollys leaving the unenviable task of orcestrating our nuptials to a female Revervend known as Jan, who according to my mother seems 'very nice.' I can only take her word for it as my trips to the church have been few and far between of late, something of course I shall endeavour to rectify in the oncoming months!
So, as the Man Rev suns himself in some sunnier climes the Woman Rev will be teaching me and the other half the ways of the Lord and helping him and I to make an honest woman/man of ourselves. I hope she has a strong and unfaltering belief in her faith because I feel she's going to need it!
Apart form this, the only final piece of wedding news I have to report this week is that I am well on my way to making a final decision on the wedding stationary e.g invites, name cards etc and couldn't be happier with the company I have chosen to produce these exquisite works of art. Click onto www.vickytrainor.co.uk and you'll be given a wide range of both contemporary and retro/vintage styles to chose from. Not only this but Vicky will accomodate and rework any of her templates to precisely fit what you have in mind to make your statinonary original and individual to your big day.
Phew, at the risk of sounding like a PR tool for said company I am off to finish my bottle of Sauvignon (yes, I am now back off the wagon, and would not recommend sobriety to anyone!) and I'm going to swill away any thoughts of impending nuptials...until tomorrow that is, where it's nose back to the grindstone and guest lists to chew over...better stock up on the rosé then.
Untill next time.
Now this, I'm sure you would agree, is a rather scandalous and news worthy piece of information and definitely something to get them all in a flutter at the local WI. Well, at least it would be if I wasn't misleading you all somewhat with my telling of this story. The truth is that our original Reverend has passed the buck and is off on his jollys leaving the unenviable task of orcestrating our nuptials to a female Revervend known as Jan, who according to my mother seems 'very nice.' I can only take her word for it as my trips to the church have been few and far between of late, something of course I shall endeavour to rectify in the oncoming months!
So, as the Man Rev suns himself in some sunnier climes the Woman Rev will be teaching me and the other half the ways of the Lord and helping him and I to make an honest woman/man of ourselves. I hope she has a strong and unfaltering belief in her faith because I feel she's going to need it!
Apart form this, the only final piece of wedding news I have to report this week is that I am well on my way to making a final decision on the wedding stationary e.g invites, name cards etc and couldn't be happier with the company I have chosen to produce these exquisite works of art. Click onto www.vickytrainor.co.uk and you'll be given a wide range of both contemporary and retro/vintage styles to chose from. Not only this but Vicky will accomodate and rework any of her templates to precisely fit what you have in mind to make your statinonary original and individual to your big day.
Phew, at the risk of sounding like a PR tool for said company I am off to finish my bottle of Sauvignon (yes, I am now back off the wagon, and would not recommend sobriety to anyone!) and I'm going to swill away any thoughts of impending nuptials...until tomorrow that is, where it's nose back to the grindstone and guest lists to chew over...better stock up on the rosé then.
Untill next time.
Sunday, 31 January 2010
In Which DB is a Recovering Snotty Grotty
This week I has mostly been...snotty! This does not an attractive future bride make. Everywhere I have gone I've left a trail of tissues in my wake and I have been sounding very much like Darth Vader on a bad day.
Working outside in the rain and snow has also not helped matters and I have spent the week feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself. Top this off with the fact that I have been bitten, trodden on and pulled around in all directions and I am failing to see the funny side. But before you start raising your eyebrows, Ben and I aren't into any of that weird, kooky, masochistic kinda stuff, I work with horses and if you're for one minute thinking that a man is demanding and temperamental then you should spend a day working on a yard with thoroughbreds that nurse egos the size of Mount Vesuvius. These aren't your run of the mill welsh cob types, or, say, Su Bos of the horsey world, oh no these are the ultra beautiful, but nownright bizarre and wacky Angelina Jolies who don't like to be told what to do and will do anything to put you in your place. I have the bruises to prove it!!
Moaning aside, my job is saving me a fortune in gym fees. I go to work and spend eight hours a day doing all kinds of physical work and get paid for it. Fantastic! I'd got more than a little slack in the healthy eating/exercise department over summer and I was toying with the idea of starting some fad diet that I would give up after only one week when the urge for chocolate became too great. Now I can eat almost anything I want (within reason) and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to run five miles just to compensate for it. Thank heavens for small mercys!
Therefore, my advice to any brides out there wanting to shape up... get a job working on a yard shovelling poop and being pulled from pillar to post. It may not be glamourous but it sure does flatten the stomach and tone up those bingo wings!!
So that's it, snotty grotty's offering of the day. I apologise that it is not very wedding orientated but there are times when even DB has to step back and distance herself from the stress of it all. That said, you'll all be pleased to hear that Reverend has proved himself to be a man of modern times and has been in touch by email to discuss matrimonial arrangements. We are to meet up this week and bring any plans we have made along with us. Well...I have a pretty good idea who I'm marrying and a rough idea at what time I'd like the ceremony to take place but as for the rest, I'm just going to have to wing it and hope that I look like I know what I'm doing. I've managed it this far...!
Working outside in the rain and snow has also not helped matters and I have spent the week feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself. Top this off with the fact that I have been bitten, trodden on and pulled around in all directions and I am failing to see the funny side. But before you start raising your eyebrows, Ben and I aren't into any of that weird, kooky, masochistic kinda stuff, I work with horses and if you're for one minute thinking that a man is demanding and temperamental then you should spend a day working on a yard with thoroughbreds that nurse egos the size of Mount Vesuvius. These aren't your run of the mill welsh cob types, or, say, Su Bos of the horsey world, oh no these are the ultra beautiful, but nownright bizarre and wacky Angelina Jolies who don't like to be told what to do and will do anything to put you in your place. I have the bruises to prove it!!
Moaning aside, my job is saving me a fortune in gym fees. I go to work and spend eight hours a day doing all kinds of physical work and get paid for it. Fantastic! I'd got more than a little slack in the healthy eating/exercise department over summer and I was toying with the idea of starting some fad diet that I would give up after only one week when the urge for chocolate became too great. Now I can eat almost anything I want (within reason) and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to run five miles just to compensate for it. Thank heavens for small mercys!
Therefore, my advice to any brides out there wanting to shape up... get a job working on a yard shovelling poop and being pulled from pillar to post. It may not be glamourous but it sure does flatten the stomach and tone up those bingo wings!!
So that's it, snotty grotty's offering of the day. I apologise that it is not very wedding orientated but there are times when even DB has to step back and distance herself from the stress of it all. That said, you'll all be pleased to hear that Reverend has proved himself to be a man of modern times and has been in touch by email to discuss matrimonial arrangements. We are to meet up this week and bring any plans we have made along with us. Well...I have a pretty good idea who I'm marrying and a rough idea at what time I'd like the ceremony to take place but as for the rest, I'm just going to have to wing it and hope that I look like I know what I'm doing. I've managed it this far...!
Monday, 25 January 2010
In Which DB Just Can't Connect With the Reverend
At the time of writing DB is sitting with a big, smug grin on her face for today has been what I would call a CPD...constructive planning day.
Not only have I managed to come up with the final design for my wedding dress (with more than a little help from my brilliant mother) I have also decided on the fabric and colour of said dress, ditto the bridesmaids and booked the wedding car (http://www.cadillac4u.com). All this without breaking a sweat.
But before I pat myself on the back as a job well done and leave you all clapping in admiration I do have to confess to to one little task I did not pull off with aplomb...I just can't seem to connect with the Reverend!!
Now this is the man that is more than a little essential in the smooth running of our wedding day as well as the rehearals and regular church outings that go before it. All said this is not a good predicament and something must be done. I have to re-establish a connection!
At this point I feel I may be misleading you a little. The connection I am talking about here is not one of a spiritual, mental or even amicable kind, it's is more of a wireless one that involves that wonder of modern technology, the mobile phone. The problem is simple, the telephone number I have for Reverend Lowe, the same number on the notice board outside the church that I have checked, re-checked and then checked again just to make sure, comes back at me with a long, dull and damn right frustrating tone. It doesn't even connect when I try it one last time for the 100th time that day!
So my conclusion is thus. Either my mobile is actually a demon in disguise that would burn up and explode on connection to a man of the church (which is highly unlikely) or the Reverend's number has changed and they have forgotten to update it on the notice board (that I have checked, re-checked and checked again).
Therefore, I am going to have to go back to a time long forgotten, a time when telecommunications was a distant and unheard of phenomenon and dragons lived in caves breathing fire on valiant knights, and actually visit the man in person. Either that or dust off my quill and ink and penn a letter requesting and audience with him which I shall send by carrier pigeon.
Alternatively I could send him an email with the address I got today and hope that hasn't changed either. Yet I can't help thinking that the pen and ink sounds so much more romantic and that modern technology has no real place in the age old tradition ceremony of marriage. Therefore, watch this space, I'm off to find me a pigeon!
Not only have I managed to come up with the final design for my wedding dress (with more than a little help from my brilliant mother) I have also decided on the fabric and colour of said dress, ditto the bridesmaids and booked the wedding car (http://www.cadillac4u.com). All this without breaking a sweat.
But before I pat myself on the back as a job well done and leave you all clapping in admiration I do have to confess to to one little task I did not pull off with aplomb...I just can't seem to connect with the Reverend!!
Now this is the man that is more than a little essential in the smooth running of our wedding day as well as the rehearals and regular church outings that go before it. All said this is not a good predicament and something must be done. I have to re-establish a connection!
At this point I feel I may be misleading you a little. The connection I am talking about here is not one of a spiritual, mental or even amicable kind, it's is more of a wireless one that involves that wonder of modern technology, the mobile phone. The problem is simple, the telephone number I have for Reverend Lowe, the same number on the notice board outside the church that I have checked, re-checked and then checked again just to make sure, comes back at me with a long, dull and damn right frustrating tone. It doesn't even connect when I try it one last time for the 100th time that day!
So my conclusion is thus. Either my mobile is actually a demon in disguise that would burn up and explode on connection to a man of the church (which is highly unlikely) or the Reverend's number has changed and they have forgotten to update it on the notice board (that I have checked, re-checked and checked again).
Therefore, I am going to have to go back to a time long forgotten, a time when telecommunications was a distant and unheard of phenomenon and dragons lived in caves breathing fire on valiant knights, and actually visit the man in person. Either that or dust off my quill and ink and penn a letter requesting and audience with him which I shall send by carrier pigeon.
Alternatively I could send him an email with the address I got today and hope that hasn't changed either. Yet I can't help thinking that the pen and ink sounds so much more romantic and that modern technology has no real place in the age old tradition ceremony of marriage. Therefore, watch this space, I'm off to find me a pigeon!
Thursday, 21 January 2010
The demented bride finally pulls her finger out
Piles of bridal magazines littered around the house - check.
Numerous pieces of literature from various bridal companies offering their services - check.
Venue, church, music, photographer and marquee booked - check.
Anything else remotely to do with impending wedding decided, booked and blissfully finished - not a chance! I've known that I'm getting married for nearly a year now but it only hit me on the chime of 12 0'clock New Year's Eve that it is actually happening this year, in the not too distant future and apart from securing the few essential and necessary requirements I have done diddly squat about it.
Given that I am taken to worrying about the smallest thing and have been known to stress to the point of mild hysteria then I find myself in a potentially forehead vein popping moment. Add to that the fact that I am on a self imposed alcohol ban until the end of this month then the results could be catastrophic! But before I going running to the hills in a state of panic I am taking a deep breath and reaching for the bottle of alcohol free perspective. I have six months till I say "I do", mother is a wedding dress designer so I don't have to spend dispairing days trawling around various bridal wear shops in search of the perfect dress only to end up in floods of tears because everyone I try on just isn't 'the one' and I have a fantastic group of people around me that will do their best to organise my disorganised, chaotic life, point me in the right direction and calm my ever fraying nerves when I start reaching for my running shoes with the hills in sight!
So, if like me you are also about to make one of the biggest commitments of your life, or have already done so and are sat there smug in the knowledge that all this is behind you, then join me as I count down to the big day and share in my trials and tribulations as I try to create the perfect day with no experience in this field whatsoever. Buckle up as I make no promises that this will be a smooth and pain free ride!
Numerous pieces of literature from various bridal companies offering their services - check.
Venue, church, music, photographer and marquee booked - check.
Anything else remotely to do with impending wedding decided, booked and blissfully finished - not a chance! I've known that I'm getting married for nearly a year now but it only hit me on the chime of 12 0'clock New Year's Eve that it is actually happening this year, in the not too distant future and apart from securing the few essential and necessary requirements I have done diddly squat about it.
Given that I am taken to worrying about the smallest thing and have been known to stress to the point of mild hysteria then I find myself in a potentially forehead vein popping moment. Add to that the fact that I am on a self imposed alcohol ban until the end of this month then the results could be catastrophic! But before I going running to the hills in a state of panic I am taking a deep breath and reaching for the bottle of alcohol free perspective. I have six months till I say "I do", mother is a wedding dress designer so I don't have to spend dispairing days trawling around various bridal wear shops in search of the perfect dress only to end up in floods of tears because everyone I try on just isn't 'the one' and I have a fantastic group of people around me that will do their best to organise my disorganised, chaotic life, point me in the right direction and calm my ever fraying nerves when I start reaching for my running shoes with the hills in sight!
So, if like me you are also about to make one of the biggest commitments of your life, or have already done so and are sat there smug in the knowledge that all this is behind you, then join me as I count down to the big day and share in my trials and tribulations as I try to create the perfect day with no experience in this field whatsoever. Buckle up as I make no promises that this will be a smooth and pain free ride!
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